What do you think of my story?

Okay that was really confusing! I don't think you need to add so much detail after every time someone speaks. It's good though, and you will never reach the best, as a writer you'll never be satisfied with your work. But you can keep working on it until it is simply amazing. Keep going, and are these people demons or something? I don't like the names they are hard to pronounce I just of skipped over them. It's good though, keep working on it. & make it less confusing?! Or maybe that's just me, but yeah KEEP writing. Good luck. :) <3